(no subject)

In the "Are You Sure You Are Authorized To Breathe On Your Own?" category...

Guy calls up, wants an appointment, ASAP. I tell him we can see him at 2pm today, no problem. He's obviously been kicked out of his house, and eventually gives me the address and phone number of his parents where he is currently staying, which is fine. I give him landmarks, directions, instructions, and ask that if he needs to reschedule to please call us, no credit cards, etc. The usual spiel.

And then he says "Are you sure he has appointments available today? Cuz I took off of work."

No, you stupid cunt, we don't accept appointments during regular working hours, we only have appointments from 3:05am to 3:12am where everyone sits in a circle and talks at once, I just make appointments during daytime hours because I like to laugh at you while you try to jiggle the doorknob and knock on the door.

Idiot.

(EDIT: He blew off the appointment)

(no subject)

I am HOWLING with laughter!!!

OMG lol

So we get a spam fax ad, which is ILLEGAL and yes, I will be forwarding this to the FCC with a letter of complaint (there are some perks to working for a lawyer), it's sent to us at 4:22am, yeah professional. I call the "please remove" number at the bottom of the fax, and get a shockingly unprofessional message instead of the usual pre-recorded whatever ("...uh...you have reached the...fax removal number and if you....uh...")

I call the main number, but they're still closed cuz they're on Central time. Ok, no problem.

A few hours later, I call back. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they only have the phone message of stupid up during non-office hours, but no, still the same crap message. So I call the office number again, which is answered.

"Hello, I would like to speak with a supervisor." Say I.

"I am a supervisor."

"Ok. Well, I'm sure that you are a wonderful person, and do your job well, but frankly I don't think you get paid enough to deal with someone who is angry as I am, are you sure you don't want to transfer me to a supervisor?" (thank you baronessmartha)

Now I'm not *actually* angry, but I know that front-line oiks don't tend to have the authorization to handle removal of names from a fax line, unless it's a catalog or magazine.

"I AM a surpervisor, ma'am, in fact I am the regional manager."

Hm, think I, curious. Should a regional manger be answering phones? Doesn't seem like a particularly large organization, but ok, I'll play along.

"Ok, then, we received a fax from your company, and I am unable to get our number removed."

"And this makes you angry." He says flatly.

"Yes this makes me angry. It is an extremely unprofessional message and voice mail system that you have an affiliation with and I feel that it is designed to specifically deny people the option of disassociating themselves from your ...."

"And our answering service makes you this angry."

"Yes," say I. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Ma'am, I have family in Iraq fighting for your freedom and you're upset about a fax."

"Yes, yes, so do I, you're not the only one with people fighting in Iraq." I snap back.

"I have hurricaine Katrina victims coming in..."

"Don't try to use current events as an excuse for your company's unprofessionalism."

He starts shouting at me. Can't remember what he said.

I am shouting back "I don't know who you think you are but your reactions make me think that you don't want any customers."

"Lady, I got all these problems coming in, and now I gotta deal with your nasty bitchy ass complaining about...."

Now I AM angry. I am NOT a racist. I am NOT a bigot. I am a MISANTHROPIST, which means I hate everyone equally, particularly when they start off their day with a big heaping bowl of Stupid. I didn't call him any names. I didn't even tell him he was stupid.

"That's right, my white ass is bitching at you..."

At this point he starts screaming over the phone at me, something about "cunt" and "shove a dick in my mouth" and "fuck yourself" to which I am replying that I am recording this message and he hangs up while I am laughing at him and complimenting him on his cool professionalism. Because the people in the background (and I could hear them before he started screaming) must have heard him, uh huh.

So we have the information for contacting the FCC regarding spam faxes, and I have recorded, to the best of my memory, the interaction with the representative of the company, who claimed to be a manager, as well. I'm gonna have fun typing THAT letter!

I am still laughing.

(no subject)

Yeah yeah, another post today. Bite me.

gakked from spiderine (who else???)

( When you see this, post a poem in your journal. )

(no subject)

( Aaaaaaaaaaaaand another meme! (gakked from spiderine) )