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Lazy Evaluation Ranch
Dec. 3rd, 2014 10:24 amhttp://lazyevaluationranch.tumblr.com/post/101718684710/11-2-today-goofus-the-peacock-killed-a-mouse-and
11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.
At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS
The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.
We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.
11/2 Today Goofus the Peacock killed a mouse and instead of eating it right away, decided to wander around the pasture carrying it in his beak. The feral cats always appreciate dead-rodent-based performance art, so they followed behind Goofus single file to make a Very Exciting Dead Rodent Parade.
At one point Goofus stopped and put down his rodent and one of the feral cats dared to sniff at it, and Goofus unleashed The Most Terrifying Honk, something along the lines of I WILL END YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE AND YOUR BONES WILL BE FORGOTTEN ON THE FROZEN EARTH WHEN I SNUFF OUT THE SUN AND SING THE STARS TO DARKNESS I AM THE DEVOURER AND DESTROYER OF ALL THINGS
The feral cats, previously unaware that the Death Of The Universe And End Of All Things is currently living as a peacock, ran off at about fifty miles an hour and hid under the barn for the rest of the day. They didn’t even come out at milking time to beg for goat milk, which is a first.
We probably should not have named the Death Of The Universe And The End Of All Things “Goofus,” actually.
21 Times Tumblr Told The Truth About Cats
Nov. 14th, 2014 09:47 amSo true. Especially the top one, that is re-enacted often in our house.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jobarrow/soft-kitty-warm-kitty
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jobarrow/soft-kitty-warm-kitty
(no subject)
Oct. 28th, 2014 02:45 pmReviewing this
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/laugh-every-time
And then watching this
http://www.buzzfeed.com/bradesposito/princess-yaaassmine
Has put me into sobbing paroxysms of laughter. Crying.
It's been a day, and I needed that :D
http://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/laugh-every-time
And then watching this
http://www.buzzfeed.com/bradesposito/princess-yaaassmine
Has put me into sobbing paroxysms of laughter. Crying.
It's been a day, and I needed that :D
(no subject)
Jul. 10th, 2014 04:20 pmhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/ariellecalderon/cats-who-failed-so-hard-they-won#
#14 needs sound. And it made me laugh so long and hard that I had to blow my nose when I was done.
#14 needs sound. And it made me laugh so long and hard that I had to blow my nose when I was done.
(no subject)
Aug. 26th, 2011 10:39 amYesterday, all over the local news was the story of a bag found on the side of the road, full of 19 kittens. Some were already dead. Some had lost eyes from all of the desperate clawing about inside the bag. The survivors have been delivered to a local ASPCA and are being cared for.
I swear to you, if I ever find out who did this, and I have you to myself for even 5 minutes, this is what will happen to you:
You will find yourself on the ground, with metal spikes pinning you in place in your arms and feet. Strapped to your abdomen will be a metal bowl, and a pair of hungry honey badgers.
They will get out of that bowl. Through you. And I will happily give you a stick to place between your teeth so that I don't have to listen to your screaming.
You miserable piece of shit.
I swear to you, if I ever find out who did this, and I have you to myself for even 5 minutes, this is what will happen to you:
You will find yourself on the ground, with metal spikes pinning you in place in your arms and feet. Strapped to your abdomen will be a metal bowl, and a pair of hungry honey badgers.
They will get out of that bowl. Through you. And I will happily give you a stick to place between your teeth so that I don't have to listen to your screaming.
You miserable piece of shit.
The FEROCITY!
Aug. 5th, 2010 01:58 pmWorksafe link, no sound needed.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=BigCatRescue#p/u/107/UcT4paZfflg
Cuz![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
learath knows what I like :)
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=BigCatRescue#p/u/107/UcT4paZfflg
Cuz
learath knows what I like :)
(no subject)
Jun. 10th, 2010 10:23 amGuess which was my favorite part of FINDING NEMO.
Go ahead. Guess.
Sound needed. But turn it down a bit if you're at work.
Go ahead. Guess.
Sound needed. But turn it down a bit if you're at work.
