Ia! Ia!

[lamia_prime]

There was a discussion about religion this weekend, and its tax-free status.

What if ...

We started The First Church of Cthulhu? (and who cares if someone else registered one? Ours would be BETTER!)

Buy some land, build a compound. Of course, there must be access to running water, maybe it's built on a shoreline? Or at least has a well. With some swamp. And a hill. There would be a section entirely devoted to frogs, and two or so flocks of whippoorwills.

The Temple itself will be round (no corners for ShadowBeasts as a professional courtesy), with bas-relief columns, and lots of stained glass. The roof would be a stained glass dome, with the absolute center pane being black, while His tentacles are rayed about, as if you're looking up directly into His maw.

The dorms would, naturally, be entirely non-Euclidean. Gotta drive those acolytes mad!

Once a calendar month there would be a major holiday, one for each of His tentacles. Every new moon would be a holiday, too. "Yep, sorry boss, need next Tuesday off, it's Dagon's Day!"

Every May Day, everyone spends it asleep, in honor of dead Cthulhu who lies dreaming. This is done by everyone in the compound drinking Kool-Aid.

And one person never wakes up. One of the paper cups, unmarked, you never know, could be you ... Which naturally means that you want to proselytize, because the more people drinking that KoolAid, the better the chances that you WON'T grab That cup ;D

I think that for the first few years, as the cult is gaining it's footing (or tentacle-hold, whichever), that one person actually just gets a double dose of sleepy juice, and wakes up a few days after everyone else. Don't want to be accused of homicide TOO soon.

Tax free status... You could be a cardinal...

Thoughts?

Comments

[edgeds.livejournal.com]

Which naturally means that you want to proselytize, because the more people drinking that KoolAid, the better the chances that you WON'T grab That cup ;D

Would suck for those of us who aren't good salespeople :P

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

Motivation is EVERYTHING ;)

[edgeds.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's motivation not to get involved in your church in the first place :P

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

I'd point out the really cool robes, the orgiastic rites at midnight, and the easy women.

But I think instead I'll just acknowledge your preference, and make a note of your address for when it comes time to start with the human sacrifices.

Go ahead, sir, on your way *nods*

[have-inner-lady.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA!

[hlinspjalda.livejournal.com]

Cui bono? Can't you just have the really cool robes, orgiastic rites, and easy women without the bother of organized religion?

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

Ma'am, we encourage you to follow the ways as best you see fit, and would never force anyone who heard the call of, er, Cthulhu, to worship in any regimented way. We respect all forms of religion for the old ones, and would even be willing to permit you to build a wee shack in the middle of the swamp to as to be closer to the frogs, if that was your preference.

[watiwarra.livejournal.com]

Oh Oh Oh, I could be an easy man.... wait I am an easy man. Count me in. Can I have a beer coozie with my cool robe?

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

BWHAHAHAAA in the USA, a cooze is a derogatory term for a woman, I think you're asking about a COSY :)

Sir, you may accessorize as you see fit, we never limit the way worshippers may represent themselves.

Except for the tiaras. You can't have a tiara until you're a high priest.

[staciadevi.livejournal.com]

I've heard loads of people talk about starting a religion. Given that I help maintain a small business that one could argue has cult-like overtones, I can tell you only this: it's a LOT of work to be on all the time. To convert people, you more or less have to be on all the time.

If you have no other life at all, you may start a church & y'may be good at it. Unless one has a near-fanatic level of conviction themselves, it won't fly.

;)

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

Logic is for sanity ;)

Your ideas interest me...

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

...and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter. :)

And if you need a location, here's a few (http://www.missilebases.com/) that are both interesting and much more affordable than they were a few years ago. :)

Re: Your ideas interest me...

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

OOOOOOhhhh!!!

Pre-dug tunnels? KICK ASS!

Re: Your ideas interest me...

[american-arcane.livejournal.com]

Not only pre-dug tunnels, but the silos are great places to stockpile shoggoth. (Or other things.) :)

Re: Your ideas interest me...

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

GENIUS!!

[have-inner-lady.livejournal.com]

Such fantastic dreams can be wrought on that 12.5 to 33 percent of unspent income.

However, I choose tax-free status simply by not earning any money.

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

We are always pleased to accept volunteer time if you feel that money should not be spent on organized religion. Certainly we do our best to keep costs down by being as self-sufficient as possible, and doing lots and lots of ... fishing.

[ceosanna.livejournal.com]

Interesting, but I'll stick with Steve for now.

[lamia-prime.livejournal.com]

Bats, subterranean caverns, things that go bump in the night ...?

Yeah, there's room for crossover ;)